Things I allegedly moan about…

Yeah. Everything.

Another day another moan..

Anyway, I realised today, well my girlfriend lovingly informed me that I moan about everything all the time. And to be perfectly honest, I totally do. It’s a shame actually that people have to put up with me thinking everything is terrible and everyone is doing everything to annoy me.

But anyway, my girlfriend and I have totally been honest with each other throughout our 9 years. And by honest, I mean “does my bum look big in this, babe?” “No actually it looks like a cauliflower rectangle”. But that was a tiny exaggeration. We’re brutally honest with eachother and I love it. If I’m wrong in an argument with someone, she’ll say “you were wrong there, this is why..” that’s how things change. That’s how you learn to become a little better and not so self obsessed. 

Another thing, when you can’t take a little criticism and straight away, go on the defensive and throw insults and your opinion is right and that’s it. Which is honestly about 90% of people now, then you’re a big turd. I can’t stand those people and being around them is draining, and you’re around them constantly, family, friends, whatever. They only want to speak their opinion and then thats the right one. Have you ever tried to talk to someone about something you wanted help with and you can see them waiting for you to shut up so they can tell you exactly the right thing to do and they’ve also done it a million times. That’s all the same people. That’s actually most people. 

If someone says “I think your wrong” say “why?” Before going on bull in a China shop defence. No one’s always right and no one’s challenging your stupid intelligence and you could be wrong! That’s ok it doesn’t make you a turd. You’re a turd if you say “well you don’t know what I’ve been through” as if you’ve been through the raging wars, you’re only 20 and had your nose pierced. Fuck up.

Anyway. Oops. Yes I moan to much and I hate when I realise (obviously after being told by my love). So I’ll try my best to keep that in. 

I’m just talking straight from the fingers here so please don’t think im being all high and mighty because I’m better. I am not bloody better. I just like to say what I’m thinking and it gets it off my boobs for a while. 


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Successful Relationships

Here’s a massive secret that no one seems to know. Everyone is getting divorced and no one likes each other after a couple of years.

So I’m the genius and here’s the secrets to a successful relationship:

Get all the bad stuff out of your system at the start

– drugs, drink, going out and being a mad hatter. And by the way if you think you’re so sexy that you’re still thinking about all the weird stuff you could get up to, don’t be in a relationship, someone’s going to get hurt because you won’t stay tied down.


– seriously if you find it hard to talk about your crap then don’t bother, there’s a little extra secret love you share knowing that you can talk about anything.

Make sure if you have issues they go together

– like if I have aspergers she probably has ADD, two aspergers don’t go together we’d be fighting over the amount of pencils we need (opposites attract people). Look for someone that’s more laid back.

Always go for the same sex

– that’s just to opposite and won’t ever work. Here’s a fact “not one heterosexual couple has ever been married”.

Buy gifts!

– surprise gifts will always work, and it shows you’re thinking about them all the time.

Get someone the same size

– no money worries because you can wear the same clothes.

Don’t get married

– then you cant get divorced and you’re better than everyone else. Or get married and if you don’t want to be married anymore, kill the person so people will feel sorry for you.

Attention seek

– make up everything you can think of to make them worry constantly about you and never leave.

Seriously though I love my girlfriend. Never take me seriously. << that's another one. Don’t take it so seriously man, calm down.
Also if they try break up with you, put them in a choke hold or arm triangle until they love you again.

Her, Maybe nicer posts?


We’ve been together almost 8 years and have been through almost everything a couple can go through. I feel like, now that I have her, my life has meaning. I know how it sounds.

I am a difficult person to be with I totally get that. I try my best to change and be not so annoying and moany about everything. I have definitely changed so much over the years and so has she. I think when people say “I won’t change for anyone” is a load of rubbish. If you are genuinely in love, then you would want to make that person happy and you change together to fit better. I’m on pills to help with all the problems I have, but if she wasn’t there to keep me sane and grounded I’d probably be in a psych ward.

It makes my stomach churn to try think of the words to explain how I actually feel. Love isn’t even close.
We met quite young and were both not very stable. We’ve put each other through hell and I would have followed her off a cliff if she’d told me to. We’re still young though and are much stronger than most people I know. Nothing matters now that we have each other.

Forever isn’t enough time to spend with her.