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Things I allegedly moan about…

Yeah. Everything.

Another day another moan..

Anyway, I realised today, well my girlfriend lovingly informed me that I moan about everything all the time. And to be perfectly honest, I totally do. It’s a shame actually that people have to put up with me thinking everything is terrible and everyone is doing everything to annoy me.

But anyway, my girlfriend and I have totally been honest with each other throughout our 9 years. And by honest, I mean “does my bum look big in this, babe?” “No actually it looks like a cauliflower rectangle”. But that was a tiny exaggeration. We’re brutally honest with eachother and I love it. If I’m wrong in an argument with someone, she’ll say “you were wrong there, this is why..” that’s how things change. That’s how you learn to become a little better and not so self obsessed. 

Another thing, when you can’t take a little criticism and straight away, go on the defensive and throw insults and your opinion is right and that’s it. Which is honestly about 90% of people now, then you’re a big turd. I can’t stand those people and being around them is draining, and you’re around them constantly, family, friends, whatever. They only want to speak their opinion and then thats the right one. Have you ever tried to talk to someone about something you wanted help with and you can see them waiting for you to shut up so they can tell you exactly the right thing to do and they’ve also done it a million times. That’s all the same people. That’s actually most people. 

If someone says “I think your wrong” say “why?” Before going on bull in a China shop defence. No one’s always right and no one’s challenging your stupid intelligence and you could be wrong! That’s ok it doesn’t make you a turd. You’re a turd if you say “well you don’t know what I’ve been through” as if you’ve been through the raging wars, you’re only 20 and had your nose pierced. Fuck up.

Anyway. Oops. Yes I moan to much and I hate when I realise (obviously after being told by my love). So I’ll try my best to keep that in. 

I’m just talking straight from the fingers here so please don’t think im being all high and mighty because I’m better. I am not bloody better. I just like to say what I’m thinking and it gets it off my boobs for a while. 

🙂

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Dear Mr. WordPress diary.

Hey again. I know no one is reading my posts anymore. Which is ok because I got a little stage fright and couldn’t write anymore.

Anyway, I really liked writing on this because it’s like anonymous and it really helps to vent stuff without feeling bad. If someone wrote something horrible I’d probably have a breakdown. I’m always titling right on the edge of some thing or another. I’ve been bloody angry the past few days. I haven’t slept either for hell knows. I hate these times. I try not to get to pee’d off because it’s not fair to the little group of family I have.

My gran passed away about a month ago and it’s been bloody hard. It’s weird when people say all this grief stuff and when something like this happens. It’s almost like your whole body shuts off and you carry on as normal with your brain and body saying “nah nothing happened” I don’t know if that’s normal or not but oh well.

I’m sitting on my ass thinking about all that lesbian label stuff that’s all out now. What a load. Like what happened to just being a lesbian or gay, why is there all these different types and like “pillow princess” I forget that word already it’s probably “pillow queen” or “bed lesbian” anyway, they only like to be touched, no way they’re touching you. I’d never heard of this before but apparently that’s why some lesbians have long nails. (That last part about nails I made up but it sounded good). And they only pick like “butch” or some variation like a very specific variation called like “butch but only giving love, no love allowed here” obviously I can’t remember the name. I don’t like this. Is this pillow asshole really being so selfish or am I missing something? I understand like the others can have transgender stuff going on and wouldnt want to be touched. Im not being a dick I read that seriously. So if they have problems with coming out as trans. Aren’t these pillow clowns just making it harder for them.

I totally relate to the trans stuff because I’m a total dude and I’m determined I was supposed to be a boy. That’s a story for another day there’s too much in that. But anyway, I was totally fucked up about letting my girlfriend touch me at the start. And I’m thinking if she would have just said aw ok I’ll just be a pillow one and you do everything, then it might have ended up that way. Obviously I wanted to but I just couldn’t muster up the courage to show her things i thought weren’t supposed to be on me. But anyway she was amazing about it all and we spoke about it and she understood it all. I love it!!!! Its the bee’s knees I’m just lucky I found someone who understood me and my good and bad bits. Even now 9 years later I still get shy but I’m a little happier in my own skin. and I think all that label crap could push people further away than helping.

Wow that was long.

No offence and if I’m an ignorant asshole, that’s ok, I know I’m a black and white kinda person. it’s just me thinking out loud.

 

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Another day

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted. I’ve been ILL like ill! I think I get man flu. It’s probably because I’m gay and that one of us has to be the person who needs taken care of constantly and fed grapes and soup. My poor girlfriend..
I’m also stricken with after TV show depression. Which should be a medical condition. You watch about 10 seasons of something, become so attached to it that you forget that it’s not real life and then it just stops. Even if it started out crap, it still ends and you’re left to fend for yourself and try to find another show, which is proving harder and harder because I think I’ve seen almost everything that’s on or been on.
Wow I’m boring.

One of the worst things people can ask you for “small talk”
“What music are you into?”
Hmm seriously. Who cares and also when I tell you its not pop and say bands then you get a glazed look and go “oooohh I’ll need to look that up.” Shut up no you won’t. I just say now “probably everything” that covers it.
“What movies do you like?”
“Probably everything.” Because when I say brokeback mountain and dawn of the dead I get looked at like a gross hog.
“What do you do on your spare time?”
Why all the questions!!! And anyway, these things are never anything people really want to know,  they’re not going to pass you with someone going “oh that random person I met once likes to tie knots. What’s an interesting answer to that anyway? I’d like to be impressed by a good answer, although don’t say skydiving because you don’t do that with your spare time, you did it once, and you were attached to a guy, you’re not making yourself look cool.

I still don’t feel well. I’ve ran out of TV and I need some entertainment.

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Wow! It’s been so long!

Hello to the world! That’s a joke I don’t even think people read my blog.
So I remember saying as soon as you reach like 20, years just disappear. Well bloody guess what? I was 26 last year and now I’m 27. Yes I know. But now I realise the massive difference between the two. Like 26 I’m still a young spring chicken, but 27! Now I’m supposed to have 3 kids a mortgage and 2 divorces by now. Now I’m telling myself people aren’t in their prime till they’re 33 so I’ve bought my ocd some time for that.
I’m a little different now. Got some meds and stuff and they’re really helping, like people say you can’t medicate aspergers and stuff, but they help the big stuff. Like going out isn’t too bad. I can talk to people a little, albeit a huge laugh and a flailing arms one word answer, but it’s something.
I hate everything still. Here’s a quick list of things new to my hates:
Hoovering
People hoovering
People who say on social media that they’re cleaning their house (if they need to tell people then their houses are a mess and covering up a big dirt conspiracy)
People who say social media.
People who pick their noses outside. Or do a big blow snot on the ground. Like pick your nose inside that’s a private area.
People who pick at their bums.
People who fart in shops and leave it for me to trudge through and then everyone else thinks it was me.
Ladies toilets. Who is this one person who dumps and leaves it!! I’ve came up with a theory about that actually. I think it’s the same lady that goes to every female bathroom and drops a big tonner and is gone before you get there on to the next one. Because everyone goes “awww ooohhh who’s so disgusting this is a ladies toilet” so no one does it but her! If she’s out there I will find her.

I can’t remember what I’ve already written since its been so long.
Maybe I should stop here. I have so much to say to myself. I’m sure I’ll be back tomorrow.

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Hate it.

Here’s the things I hate the most;
weather – sun is the worst, snow’s a little better at least people don’t expect walking and fun in the winter so much, I still hate it though. Natural light I detest, my windows have black out blinds on them, I don’t like the weather telling me what to do.
Food – I hate most foods, obviously if you hadn’t guessed already I’m a vegetarian (an easy switch to make since I was grossed out by meat anyway), pretty much all my food is whiteish, mashed potato, rice, porridge, banana (don’t be smart, i mean the inside of bananas) etc. I have tried all kinds of different foods and I honestly hate all of them.
Time – time is my worst enemy, it tells me what to do constantly and I have a problem with that, I’m never late so I’m always in a rush and people with me don’t care so much about it and it’s a constant stressful battle.
Other peoples face’s – only if they’re looking at me and I see words in their eyes. Don’t even dare, that’s a serious awkward situation that you’re getting yourself in there and you’ll be full of regret and extremely distraught, I live like this, awkward is where I sit in conversation so I’m actually quite used to it. Over and over again doesn’t help me either though.
Trainer socks – obvious reasons…
Things people say – “you don’t know obviously, you don’t have kids”. “What age are you? Don’t you have kids?”. “No I didn’t fart” – that’s when its just 2 people, that one really upsets me because its turning into a potential life threatening lie. “I honestly don’t eat that much”. “Oh, you’re gay? That’s fine with me, I don’t have a problem with it” – thanks so much I needed your random person approval to be gay. “Oh, you’re gay? This girl tried to kiss me once and I kicked her head in” – you’re so clever! and also no I don’t fancy you so you don’t have to conjure up a story to make sure I don’t swoon over your fat oily face. I’m sure this category will be updated a lot.

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