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Nothing and em…. Oops

So here I am again…
Nothing to blog about because I’ve ran my mouth so much I’ve actually emptied.
So I’ll just ramble for a bit because I feel like I have to, this thing really helps me.
So I had my melons by the way if you read my other posts. And it was very unsatisfactory. My melons were rancid. So then I ended up having to take a bin out in the howling wind and rain. That was a lie, it was just cold.
I’m typing and there’s some weird dirt blob on my “a” button and I keep touching it. I hope its not something untoward. Now I’m scared its a disease……
Add egg<<<<< that was me wiping it off. Now there's traces on the "r" candies vagrant<<< OK got it all.
Back to the important business then. I hate most of my family. They’re bloody horrible people. I don’t talk to them anyway but there’s a birthday today. I want to send them a card with a big stool in it. Happy birthday stool…
My car sucks. Every time I go out in it I feel like its going to crumble around me and I’ll be driving a metal frame.
My girlfriends good though. We had a nice few days together. We don’t get much time together though. She’s a busy bee. I try not to moan about everything I moan about. This blog must be a godsend to her, although I think I still yell about everything I hate. Its OK though she just let’s me yell and say’s “yes dear” until I’m done.
This turned out to be not too bad. But this is absolutely how my brain works. This is how I talk to my brain. Whoever reads this knows me better than the closest people to me. Maybe I should stop it.
Why is it when you reach like age 20, years just disappear. I’ll be like 60 before I’ve blinked and I’ll be smelly and the youths will be like “hey you over there, what’s it like to have no hair?” Well that’s assuming I go lady bald. I think I made that up. They’ll be like “born in 1988? Did you have shoes?” I’ll be explaining CD’s and the newspaper to them all gathered in awe.
OK I should shut it now this is getting bloody ridiculous…….. WOW.

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Successful Relationships

Here’s a massive secret that no one seems to know. Everyone is getting divorced and no one likes each other after a couple of years.

So I’m the genius and here’s the secrets to a successful relationship:

Get all the bad stuff out of your system at the start

– drugs, drink, going out and being a mad hatter. And by the way if you think you’re so sexy that you’re still thinking about all the weird stuff you could get up to, don’t be in a relationship, someone’s going to get hurt because you won’t stay tied down.


– seriously if you find it hard to talk about your crap then don’t bother, there’s a little extra secret love you share knowing that you can talk about anything.

Make sure if you have issues they go together

– like if I have aspergers she probably has ADD, two aspergers don’t go together we’d be fighting over the amount of pencils we need (opposites attract people). Look for someone that’s more laid back.

Always go for the same sex

– that’s just to opposite and won’t ever work. Here’s a fact “not one heterosexual couple has ever been married”.

Buy gifts!

– surprise gifts will always work, and it shows you’re thinking about them all the time.

Get someone the same size

– no money worries because you can wear the same clothes.

Don’t get married

– then you cant get divorced and you’re better than everyone else. Or get married and if you don’t want to be married anymore, kill the person so people will feel sorry for you.

Attention seek

– make up everything you can think of to make them worry constantly about you and never leave.

Seriously though I love my girlfriend. Never take me seriously. << that's another one. Don’t take it so seriously man, calm down.
Also if they try break up with you, put them in a choke hold or arm triangle until they love you again.

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Another day

So another day’s passed, they always seem to for some reason.

I just ate 2 whole melons and now I feel sick. My girlfriend always tells me to stop eating fruit by the ton. Sitting thinking about random crap while I sit on my ass with my eyes blurry because “the strain” is boring as hell.

Like what would you do if you were in the house alone for a few days? I’m getting a couple of alone days soon, and I’m thinking 2 whole melons, naked.

Why can’t I whittle? I need to learn that.

Why can’t I whistle? I need to learn that.

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Well I suppose another of my bloody problems. I always wanted to be something, when I was younger it was a police officer, then a tattoo artist, then maybe join the army, but as isme. I’m now 26 and have absolutely nothing. I’ve had a few jobs over the years, and people don’t like the way I am, it comes of very awkward and almost ignorant. So, these jobs last a few weeks and when I don’t change and they still can’t understand what the hell is happening and who hired the serial killer, I feel so bloody stupid for still not being able to say hi to people now that I slink away and never return. I tried to phone colleges and when they got back to me with help, I couldn’t answer the phone and just sat there, staring at my life ringing out. I’ve done all the courses and doctor advised places you’re supposed to do (and by the way, if anyone has ever been cured with CBT then I’d like to know, I’ve never been treated more like a disabled idiot that I did when I was introduced to this “revolutionary new treatment”). So I’m back to square one. All the people I knew from school are travelling the world and doing amazing things and I can’t even speak to my own gran if I’m on my own with her.
My girlfriend is just about to graduate from uni. I’m so bloody proud but unbelievably jealous of her. I don’t want her to have a life looking at me sitting on my fat ass while sheworks for every thing. She’s amazing and says it doesn’t matter, but it does to me.
Sometimes I wake up and think ” oh I’m cured!” Because I feel all big headed and smart and I run away out to the shops and crumble before the shop assistants eyes trying to buy a juice and end up flapping and chirping about until I can hide away again.
How can I knowingly make my girlfriend deal with that? She knows me and we laugh about it. I wish I could be just a little better to show her i can support us too.

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Anything else?

Yeah, so my depressive side has been said I’m sure. Well all but my money situation, or lack thereof actually. That’s about that then.
Most of my personality I think comes from all the TV I watch, so I probably flip from one to another without even noticing, another thing about this blog, I might actually learn too much about myself and realise I’m actually a massive loser, well, it is what it is.
Anyway.. Here’s words I bloody hate; fiancée, sectember, 9stone3lbs, pasgetti, iphone, ianything, lingerie.

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Mostly me

I’m not really sure how this works. I’m 26 and female. My name.. dont know I’ll think of that later. Well anyway I’m kind of a weird person. Aspergers and OCD are my best friends which I hate. Normally people with aspergers have like a super talent. My talent seems to be people, not socialising or talking or even being around them, but watching and seeing right through all their crap. there are only a small few kinds of personality which I will categorise eventually. I know what’s going to come out of their mouths before they say it and who they are deep down underneath everything. It might seem like something everyone can do, but i enjoy watching anyway. No one really listens to my advice because they think I’m a smart mouth or still too young to tell them what to do so that’s another point to me, it’s still a little annoying though. If someone gives you advice, you should try it. No harm in it. It might actually work. And if you need advice then you’re making a mess of something anyway.

My animals are my life.

I bitch and moan about EVERYTHING so I thought if I started this it might help the few people I do have in my life, live without me blowing their hair back when I see a teenager with joggers on that are way too small.

I know who I am and I’m an adult, so I don’t really care what other people think of my stinky atitude which is pretty lazy anyway. I’m not very smart and don’t claim to be nor am i cynical or optimistic. People say black and white isn’t the way the world is. But the more I look the more I see what is really there, while people wander about thinking there’s grey.

I’m not a horrible person. I have a girlfriend who I love more than life, and my little family who I would do anything for. Blood means absolutely nothing to me, if someone isn’t a good person, family or not, I don’t need it. More people should think this way, a little less grey for people to cause themselves.

My grammer isn’t that great either but this whole thing is kind of my diary, if you see it, its only my brain thinking aloud to help me grow. Please don’t be nasty.

Her, Maybe nicer posts?


We’ve been together almost 8 years and have been through almost everything a couple can go through. I feel like, now that I have her, my life has meaning. I know how it sounds.

I am a difficult person to be with I totally get that. I try my best to change and be not so annoying and moany about everything. I have definitely changed so much over the years and so has she. I think when people say “I won’t change for anyone” is a load of rubbish. If you are genuinely in love, then you would want to make that person happy and you change together to fit better. I’m on pills to help with all the problems I have, but if she wasn’t there to keep me sane and grounded I’d probably be in a psych ward.

It makes my stomach churn to try think of the words to explain how I actually feel. Love isn’t even close.
We met quite young and were both not very stable. We’ve put each other through hell and I would have followed her off a cliff if she’d told me to. We’re still young though and are much stronger than most people I know. Nothing matters now that we have each other.

Forever isn’t enough time to spend with her.