I’m not sleeping so well. Really bad actually. My brain overdrives. My meds don’t work. I take too many. They still don’t work. I’m seriously fucked up at the moment. I can’t watch TV because it makes me freeze. I tried podcasts, put them on and sit still. I feel like I can’t move. I’m shaking when I move.

Just dont tell anyone.

I am fucked. I am fucked.

I can’t leave my own fucking brain. It tells me so much. I hate all of it. Nothing nice. I feel terrible. Everything is death or so messed up I can’t even type it. Constant flashing images and thoughts.

How many more times can I do this?

It doesn’t get easier it gets harder because I can’t fucking fight with myself anymore. I feel too old to be trying to keep it all back.

Don’t read this. It’s me.


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