Wool – its squeaky and gross.
People that say things like “between a rock and a hard place”, “bigger fish to fry”, “A poor workman always blames his tools” or “A problem shared is a problem halved”…… Shut up.
Teeth picking – don’t do it outside you pig.
Old men’s jokes – I’ve heard that, yes, you’ve told me it for 26 years.
Fake laughing – normally at old men jokes.
People who have to show their love to the world by grabbing their partner in the middle of somewhere busy to show everyone they can snog and just so you know that 5ft 110lb stud is taken. Or they can’t let each others hand go when they come to a lamppost or me and I’ve to conga under it.
Fake crying – normally really loud so you’ll look.
Clapping at an event.
Those new running shoes all the kids are wearing – they look like banana idiots.
Sand – its the worst thing in the world, hell might actually literally be on a beach.
Nits and knits.
Drinking from a stream.
People who know knot tying.
Not allowed Lego at 26, and also that you can’t just buy a box of random Lego now, it has to be an expensive set with instructions on how to make a crap car.
Hating is so much effort.